Apparently my faith is muchly lacking these days.
Before I got my mission call, I knew that a mission was the right thing for me.
It just was.
I knew it in my mind and in my heart.
And when I read my call, the Spirit bore witness to me that it was a call from the Lord, that He has put His trust in me and that this is absolutely what I should be doing.
But I am oh so scared.
I'm afraid I won't be good enough, that I won't be able to hack it, that I'll be homesick, that I won't be able to pick up the language. I'm afraid of being in a foreign country, I'm afraid of being forgotten, of people moving on without me. I'm afraid of discovering that my testimony isn't as strong as I think it is, that my faith is weak.
I'm trying to have faith that what I've heard is true, that the joy is worth the sacrifice and the trials. I'm trying to believe that "whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies". I read Alma 26 over and over and over again. I recommend reading it, especially verse 35. My absolute favorite :)
For those of you who are like me, and are going to plan on reading that scripture and then forget to do it, here's the verse:
Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since this world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name.
Faith to conquer fear...
I'm still chicken.
2 comments:
I KNOW THE FEELING!
I got to the temple and was like I can't do this. What if my illness comes back? What if I can't learn everything I need to? What if I'm not good enough? What if I don't get on with people?
But that's Satan trying to stop you. He knows you're making a decision that is going to bring you joy. The key is that the fear will bring humility. You realise you can't do it on your own. That you need the Lord with you. So daily you'll get on your knees and ask for His help, that He will guide your actions and sustain you through the things you need to do that day.
You're amazing! You can totally do this and I promise you that it will be the best experience! I'm learning so much daily - mainly from the challenges. I love it. The Lord refines you and you grow like crazy. Keep the youth theme in mind 'be strong and of a good courage, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest' (Joshua 1:9).
We read that scripture just last night in our family scripture study. I read it twice to Isaac (who's 6) because I wanted him to get the message. I don't think he did, but YOU so did. You can totally do it. You can do anything, but you can especially do this. It's natural to be a little afraid of such a big life change. But you'll come home to find out that nothing much changed (except for you) while you were gone.
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