Soeur Larsen: Part LI

Hey Family!

I was pretty nervous about this email, I was trying to compose it in my head, because I feel like it should be epic. But, as my companion reminded me, all of the moments we've had recently that felt like they should have been epic just weren't, and you guys know me too well to be fooled anyway :)

Yesterday I cried my way through church, I seriously was just a leaky faucet. Until the branch president stared me down and made me get up and bear my testimony, and then it all just came out. The branch knows me well enough not to expect any less... I don't even know what I said in my testimony, I don't know if it was intelligible, but I think I got across the fact that I liked being in Blois and didn't want to leave.

After church the Primary president made the mistake of hugging me and then I just cried into her shoulder and was quickly surrounded by a crowd telling me not to cry, that I would see them again, that 'there's always facebook!', that I'd be back to visit, that they'd come visit me, and that in fact they were just going to rent a plane and the whole branch was going to come camp out in my backyard, etc. It's hard to keep crying when you're being bombarded by comfort. En francais, en plus.

I love my branch. I feel like they will forever be MY branch.

Carlos, my favorite miracle, bore his testimony about the power of the Book of Mormon, and he passed the sacrament.

Clement, my recent convert, just makes me giddy every time I see him do anything, like bless the sacrament or greet people as they come into sacrament meeting.

It's funny how these things seem so little, but they're so big when you know what it took to get them there, and what it all means! That someone who is worthy to pass the sacrament is worthy of the kingdom of God.

And if it so be that ye should labor all your days, and bring but one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with them in the kingdom of my Father!

It reminds me of an experience I've always remembered, when Dad was bishop. It was testimony meeting, and someone I didn't know well got up to bear their testimony. I wasn't really paying attention, until I looked behind the person, at dad. He was watching and just beaming and there were tears in his eyes. And suddenly the realization that this person meant something to my dad, that he had seen their spiritual progression and how they had struggled and now was seeing them changed, completely changed that person for me. Suddenly the simple testimony being born became powerful.

It feels like that, in the branch. I watch people and the simplest testimony or gesture, a head bowed in humble prayer, someone who gets up to help our investigator with one of her crying children, means the world to me. Any step being taken by a child of God towards their Heavenly Father is a triumph and a joy. It's not what I expected out of my mission, but then, the Lord always does things better than I expected him to anyway.

I'm going to miss France... I guess that probably goes without saying. I've been trying to soak in all the sights and smells (the good and the bad), the people, the sounds. I'm going to miss hearing French everywhere. Boo. English is lame. Also I'm really going to miss the food...

It feels like I have lived more than a lifetime here. I've had my highest highs and my lowest lows and everything in between, often over the course of a single day. My experiences have ranged from funny to awkward to scary to giddy to depressing to joyful to sacred. So forgive me if this email is all over the place, it's a little bit how I feel! It'll be more fun when I can see you guys and just talk your ears off.

I think at this moment the thought that fills me with the most joy is that this isn't the end of anything! My mission among my brothers and sisters did not begin on this earth and will not finish before the end of time, let alone this Wednesday. I've heard that the mission field is just the MTC for a life of service to the Lord. I read a talk this morning by Sheri Dew called "Stand Tall and Stand Together" and it is a serious power talk, it got me super excited just for life, for possibilities, for eternity. Yay. So I'm just going to share some with you, because she says it better than me.

"Imagine what would happen in this Church if every morning 4.5 million of us (she's speaking to the Relief Society) got on our knees and asked our Father who He needed us to reach out to that day. And then imagine if we did it! Imagine if we consecrated our energy and our focus en masse to the greatest service of all, that of leading our sisters and brothers to Christ. Imagine what will happen when we mobilize the sisters of Relief Society to stand together to help build the kingdom. We will see the awakening and arising of a sleeping, slouching giant.

Tonight I invite you to stand tall, to thrust in your sickle and join in this work with vigor. I invite you to rededicate your life to building the kingdom. To reach out to someone who has wandered. To take a new member under your wing. To consider serving a mission with your husband. To look and pray for missionary moments. To make a difference in someone’s life spiritually, especially the members of your own family. None of us have to reach everyone. But what if we all reached someone?"

And then, my favorite quote: "For though some would portray us as dowdy and dominated rather than the dynamic, radiant women we are, no woman is more persuasive, no woman has greater influence for good, no woman is a more vibrant instrument in the hands of the Lord than a woman of God who is thrilled to be who she is." I read that and I was thinking about how absolutely down-to-my-toes-thrilled I am to be who I am. It reminds me of a phrase from a talk I have that says, "The Lord will make of you a masterpiece; you will make of you only a smudge." The Lord has done much more with my life than I ever imagined. I learned that my worth and my joy comes through reaching out to others and reaching up to God. I only hope I can spend the rest of my life doing the same. And hopefully doing it better than I have... haha. The mission has been a rather high-pressure trial and error experience. Mostly error.

I was reading in Ether 12 this week (oh yeah, ps, Sr. W and I finish the Book of Mormon in French today! Just in the nick of time...) and I like the verses before the famous verse 27. 

 "And I said unto him: Lord, the Gentiles will mock at these things, because of our weakness in writing; for Lord thou hast made us mighty in word by faith, but thou hast not made us mighty in writing; for thou hast made all this people that they could speak much, because of the Holy Ghost which thou hast given them...Thou hast also made our words powerful and great, even that we cannot write them; wherefore, when we write we behold our weakness, and stumble because of the placing of our words; and I fear lest the Gentiles shall mock at our words. And when I had said this, the Lord spake unto me, saying: Fools mock, but they shall mourn; and my grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness;" (v. 23-26 ish)

For some reason I love that phrase, "My grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness." I'm grateful for a God who allows us to help him do his work, who refines us as we do it, and who makes up for our failings, so that as long as we recognize them and want to work on them, they will not be counted against us. How great the goodness and mercy of our God.

This is WAY too long and random and scrambled.

Well, fam, I love ya. I'm so excited to see you all again! Thanks for all the support while I enjoyed this wonderful adventure of mine. I will be eternally grateful to you for making it possible!

The Church is true!

SOEUR LARSEN (enjoying it while it lasts...)