Why No-TV November is Hard

No-TV November has been easier in some ways than I thought it would be, and harder in other ways.
It's been fun finding things to do instead. It's made it easier to go to bed and get up early. I used to be a morning person, and I'm getting back in my groove again. But it was hard telling people what I was doing and having them kind of agree that it was a good idea, but not really. NO tv? NONE? That seems extreme. And silly. There's so much good stuff to watch. It's a good way to relax. It's a fun way to spend time with friends.
Nov. 1 was a Saturday, and we had Stake Conference. After the two-hour meeting, a bunch of friends decided to get together to do something fun. Let's play games! Or have a bonfire! I said. "I was kind of looking for something easier, low key, like watching a movie," the host said. I felt a little bad. I can't watch a movie, I'm doing No-TV November, I said. He gave me such an odd look. Well, I don't have to come, don't worry about it, it's fine, you guys go watch a movie, I said.
My friends are nice, and they (some grudgingly) agreed to play games instead of watching a movie, and we had a blast. We talked afterwards about how great it was and how we should play games more and watch movies less. Ten points for Chelsie.
There's been so many moments, when talking with others or just when I'm by myself, when I've questioned the idea of not watching TV anymore (which is my eventual goal) except on rare occasions. There's just so much to be seen, so much I feel I'd be missing out on. The latest TV episodes are a big part of the conversation among my age group, and a source of many inside jokes. There's great stuff on TV - good humor, funny jokes, heartwarming stories, life lessons.
There's something inside telling me not to be an extremist. And eschewing TV would be too extreme.
However, I can't fight the idea that my life is in some kind of fog that I need to burst out of, and that TV is lulling me into a false sense of security. I worry when I read things like "We no longer have the luxury of spending any time on anything that doesn't lead us to Christ" by Sheri Dew, my woman-power hero, and I don't totally believe them. I think, yeah, that's quite an idea you have there, but I have to watch the latest New Girl episode and THEN I'll do some stuff that actually edifies me...
I worry when I notice the difference between how I feel and act when I've just spend an hour helping someone or trying to build my business and how I feel when I've just watched TV. And yet I still would prefer to watch TV.
I worry most when I KNOW in my mind that TV is bad, I've read a hundred articles about what it's doing to our brains, and yet I FEAR letting it go.
I want to kick that fear in the face, and that is what No-TV November is about.
I've met people who don't watch tv, and I envy them. We talk about some tv show and they say, oh, I don't watch tv, sorry, and while we exclaim to them about what a great show it is and what they're missing out on, I envy that look on their face that says they don't care. I had a religion professor at BYU who knew everything there is to know about the Book of Isaiah, and his classes were fascinating. I remember him saying that he hadn't watched tv in 30 years or something like that, and my mental jaw dropped. I wanted to tell him that he didn't know what he was missing out on, but then I saw the look on his face. He was HAPPY. He was FREE. He was free to feast from the scriptures and learn things that I never even thought to ask about. He was happily married and happy to work hard. He was free and I was enslaved. I had my tv shows, which kept me up at night, which made me groggy in the morning, which made me resent all the things I had to do that day, which made me do them halfheartedly, which meant I was getting mediocre grades and having a mediocre experience at a university I had dreamed and worked for years to get into. Clearly this is an exaggeration, every day wasn't this way, but I vividly remember the feeling; don't you?
I remember the smile on his face, the perfect freedom of my professor from the distracting things we all cared so much about.
I want that.
I want to not care about what's on TV because I have so many other meaningful activities happening in my life and because I can see TV for what it is - a distraction.
So while there's many voices, including my own, telling me it's a silly idea, telling me all the reasons it's ok to watch just a little tv, I have to hold on to the idea that if I can break free of it I'll be able to see it for what it is. I want to be FREE to not care about it.
I want to not think about TV. I want to be doing the things that excite me and never looking back on a day with the regret of the hours that I spent watching other people live their lives.

This has been a preachy soapbox blog post. Sorry, stepping off now.
I hope you made it through.