Dear husband,

I sure hope you're good at math.
Because I am failing regression analysis.
So I'm afraid it's going to be up to you to help the kids with their math homework.

Also, if you could come along before grad school, that would be nice
Because I might need help with my homework too.

And I'd like you to know that my mom skills are coming along just great
Christian just puked on me.
Twice.

And I handled it very well.

Aren't you glad I'm recording all these treasured moments for you?

Love, Me.