Single Ladies, listen up!

These were my dad's nuggets of wisdom for the day:

He sat me down and said that knowing two things would bring me happiness.
First, that all men are dorks.
Second, that I should find the least dorky man I could and marry him.

You should also know, apparently, that unrepentent men are the worst kind. Don't marry them.
And that men are not tomato plants, they are apricot seeds.
You will nourish them and nourish them and nourish them,
but don't bank on getting any fruit for a good twenty years.
Do try, though, to find a man who will bear fruit in 20 years-ish, rather than 500.

So go find that apricot seed man! And good luck.