I confess.
I think I have a leg fetish.

I always check out people's legs.
I'm jealous of people with really tan legs
and athletic looking legs
and smooth legs

I complain about not being tan and people go, what are you talking about? You're so brown!
And we compare arms.
But I don't care about my arms.
I care about my legs.
I want them to be tan.
And not just tan.
But more tan than anyone else.