It used to be called Faith

For my Soc of the LDS Church class, I'm reading a book which shows some of the many different views the world has taken on Joseph Smith.
There are pathological explanations, such as hypnotism and dreams; there are those who study him as a political leader, a destroyer of skepticism, a magician, a psychopath, or a genius. These are only a few of the different images portrayed in the book. Everyone is trying to understand him by fitting him into a recognized category, but one that avoids the uncomfortable alternatives of true prophet or fraud. There are those for whom miracles and angels simply do not fit into the worldview, and they keep searching and searching for an alternate explanation than the one right in front of their eyes.
In the very last paragraph, the author says,

Back in the days before the corruption of our language, before the flattening of our reality into a stark, naturalistic, horizontal plane, there used to be a name for the leap, the signing onto something magnificently demanding and all-encompassing, the living out of something as if it were true, the growing conviction of the reality of things hoped for, things unseen. It used to be called faith.

Faith. Faith is an interesting thing. I used to think I had it in spades, and I could never understand the scripture that said if you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could move mountains. I have faith, I thought. And yet I don't see any mountains moving.
Maybe I don't have any faith.
Now, I know that the Church is true. I know that God lives, that His son is my Savior and Redeemer, that there is a Prophet on the earth today. I know all that. There is no doubt in my mind. Where my lack of faith comes in is in my motivation to live all of that to the very fullest.
It's like that quote that says, "our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure."
Amen.
The other night I was sitting in my humble little apartment, reading about the First Vision. The thought came to my head, "you could be like that. you were called for great things. you are part of a great work." I shook the thought away. Who, me? I'm not like Joseph Smith. I couldn't see visions because I don't know if I would act on the things I saw. Not like Joseph.
Joseph, who wouldn't take back the things he had said. "I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it." Joseph, whose life was unbelievably difficult, and completely unselfish.
No, I'm not like Joseph.
The voice in my head was insistent. There is a great work going on here. There are bigger things than you, and you were called, chosen, to be a part of them. I thought of great things, of a life dedicated to serving the Lord selflessly, a life lived to the fullest, without the trivial things that my silly little heart loves.
"No thank you", I thought.
I would just like a normal little life as a wife and mother
I don't want greatness
I'm afraid of it
Fear is the opposite of faith. They cannot exist in the same sphere.
I don't trust that my God will do what's best for me if I put myself into His hands.
I'm afraid he will push me.
I know this must hurt him.
Oh ye of little faith.